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 Nanogolems - Beag Model

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Drake
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Denied#1PostSubject: Nanogolems - Beag Model   Nanogolems - Beag Model EmptyThu Apr 27, 2017 7:58 pm

Nanogolems - Beag Model Z


Name: Beag Model
Owner: Mages in the Dryadic Foraoise
Creator: The Miotal


Type: Golem
Ammo: N/A
Rarity: Common

Strengths
The Beag Model is able to channel a mage's magic, thus increasing its power and decreasing the cost for the mage. A fire mage with an arsenal of Beag Golems can wield a storm of flame like it was nothing. They allow mages to control huge tides of their respective element with a vastly reduced cost on the mage's side.

Weaknesses
The Beag model lacks finesse. It is much harder to control one model than it is to control a hundred and have a few follow the tide. This model is easily destroyed as it is just a Golemic Core. 

Description
The Beag Model of Golem is a new outlook on the art of war. The Miotal, foregoing the old beliefs that bigger is better, have developed the use of tiny, nanogolems. The Beag model are just the beginning of this. They allow a mage to control a wave of their element twice as large as usual. 


Thus, a Novice fire mage is able to control the same amount as an Adept, and an Adept would be able to control the same amount as a Weaver.
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http://www.convergencerp.net/t1192-elizabeth-penry
Elias Bishop
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Denied#2PostSubject: Re: Nanogolems - Beag Model   Nanogolems - Beag Model EmptyMon May 01, 2017 1:28 am

Alrightyyyy. Now that I'm back, let's get some reviewing muscles going. There's quite a bit wrong with your Nanogolems.

1. It seems that your goal is to create a sort of magical focus that amplifies the power of a magic user and effectively allow them to ignore the limitations of their magic tier. Unfortunately, all this really does is undermine the magic tier system. Something I cannot allow especially considering how short your development thread is and how common the item itself is meant to be. 

2. Your weakness isn't really a weakness. All you say is that it's cumbersome to control and that the user instead should just use more nanogolems, also further boosting their magical prowess.

3. Your description for the item and it's purpose is dreadfully limited.

Unfortunately, I cannot approve of this item. Given the way it's written and how incredibly short your development thread is for an item that effectively allows a magic-user to move up a tier without any work, I cannot approve this and I don't see any way this can be fixed.

Denied.
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http://www.convergencerp.net/t227-elias-bishop#1720
 

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